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Saturday, June 23, 2007

its almost three in the morning, @ 12:42 AM

and i have nothing better to do than create a blogspot for myself.

So, Ive never had one of these before and im a little nervous as to how it will turn out.
bear with me !


here's the deal:
just an hour ago I was sitting on my couch watching degrassi and it got me thinking...Ive graduated high school, and Im completely done with soap opera drama created by people who have no self respect, and yet im surrounding myself with crappy so called "entertainment" that does nothing more than glamorize that very thing!
then i start feeling bad for myself, like, why cant I just go into this new part of my life? why cant i give up what I dont want and move on?


move on.




thats when it hit me!
im so scared of what my future holds that im clinging on to anything that i can that will remind me of what I know.
I keep telling myself that God knows the plans he has for me, and I dont need to worry because thats not my job on this planet, but....its hard. its REALLY HARD to give it up. im freaking out because im supposed to be going to college in the fall, but I have done nothing to actually go there. I have no idea what I want to do with my life! I dont know who im supposed to be with... i dont even know if that person even exists! I want so badly to just be done with this scary transitional phase, and onto the stability.

I know that what I ultimately want is to be a vessel doing whatever God has intended for me to do, but
i just wish that I had some sort of peace.

Lord, I trust you, ok? help me get over myself and only see you. I need you. If ever I needed you, I need you now more than ever. I want to be close to you, I want you to wisper intimate secrets in my ear. I want the peace that passes all understanding. forgive me, awesome father, for ever doubting your majesty...for questioning your plans. Im sorry. IM SORRY!
I want to find rest. I love you, amen.




p.s. - im a horrible speller and spellcheck doesnt want to work for me, so deal with it :)

1 comments

1 Comments:

Jazmine, Life is constant transition. The only way to ever feel stability is to push through the transition. The satisfaction of perseverance is what brings stability.

I'm 32, I'm still not sure what to do with my life and I'm still single, but I'm not worried about it, because I, with God's help, have pushed myself this far.
My life is great. Sure there are things I'd like to change, but I know it will work out.

You're going to succeed at whatever you choose to do with your life.

God bless,
Mr. Keith

By Blogger Mr. Keith, at June 23, 2007 at 4:01 PM  

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i"m jaz. thats all.

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