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Sunday, June 24, 2007

sunday mornings at taco cabana @ 9:12 PM

i felt so much better after talking to everyone this moring.

its so silly how God can use people like mike sturdy and places like taco cabana to make me understand
what it is to be a human pining after God.

hahaha!
I just feel like i have the tools now to face my future and not be scared.
i mean, he cares about the sparrows right? he knows the plans he has for me right?


so. I guess im in good hands :)

1 comments Saturday, June 23, 2007

UGH. @ 5:44 PM

i hate being ditched.
i hate making plans and then watch them fall through.
i hate being so needy.





ok, im done :)

0 comments
and i have nothing better to do than create a blogspot for myself.

So, Ive never had one of these before and im a little nervous as to how it will turn out.
bear with me !


here's the deal:
just an hour ago I was sitting on my couch watching degrassi and it got me thinking...Ive graduated high school, and Im completely done with soap opera drama created by people who have no self respect, and yet im surrounding myself with crappy so called "entertainment" that does nothing more than glamorize that very thing!
then i start feeling bad for myself, like, why cant I just go into this new part of my life? why cant i give up what I dont want and move on?


move on.




thats when it hit me!
im so scared of what my future holds that im clinging on to anything that i can that will remind me of what I know.
I keep telling myself that God knows the plans he has for me, and I dont need to worry because thats not my job on this planet, but....its hard. its REALLY HARD to give it up. im freaking out because im supposed to be going to college in the fall, but I have done nothing to actually go there. I have no idea what I want to do with my life! I dont know who im supposed to be with... i dont even know if that person even exists! I want so badly to just be done with this scary transitional phase, and onto the stability.

I know that what I ultimately want is to be a vessel doing whatever God has intended for me to do, but
i just wish that I had some sort of peace.

Lord, I trust you, ok? help me get over myself and only see you. I need you. If ever I needed you, I need you now more than ever. I want to be close to you, I want you to wisper intimate secrets in my ear. I want the peace that passes all understanding. forgive me, awesome father, for ever doubting your majesty...for questioning your plans. Im sorry. IM SORRY!
I want to find rest. I love you, amen.




p.s. - im a horrible speller and spellcheck doesnt want to work for me, so deal with it :)

1 comments

welcome

i"m jaz. thats all.

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myspace.com/jjo_jaz

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